Our brains are often controlled by habits. Habits are typically helpful as they make us more efficient and simplify life. For example, you probably aren’t aware of which keys your fingers touch on the keyboard, or you might arrive at the office with almost no memory of driving there. You can thank your habit brain for the shortcut – it knows what to do!
Our habits even increase our productivity and help us use our minds for more important work. In fact, research tells us that as many as 45% of our decisions are solely based on our habits.
Yet, what happens when you want to make a change? Yet, your desire to change crashes right up against your go-to habits. After work, you want to spend more time with friends or take an art class, but your screen time always seems to win. It’s an easier and more powerful habit. Your habits are at the wheel, and you are in the backseat.
According to James Clear in Atomic Habits, an excellent book on learning to change, “Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change.”
Our habits get in the way even when we truly want to change. For example, if you set a goal to start working out every day after work, yet when you wrap up your day – your habit brain takes hold. “Actually, no. That’s not what we do – we go home, put on our sweatpants and relax.” The habit brain wins! The change felt too hard and too big.
When you need to change, here are a few simple strategies for reworking your “system” and changing your habits—whether you want to eat healthier, learn new technology, or work differently.
1.Make a tiny change. Another favorite book about learning to change is Tiny Habits, which has one core message – start small. As BJ Fogg says, “It’s time for someone to say it: Lower your expectations. Which hopefully surprises people. But it’s also the right way to go if you want to help yourself feel successful and if you want to progress.”
This strategy is counter-intuitive to all high achievers. But, if you can identify one small first step, you can begin and build on it. For example, start walking for just 20 minutes, sign up for a class on being more strategic, or set aside even 15 minutes to be more intentional and plan your day. Start small and begin to change your system.
2. Be an incrementalist. In the 2023 Super Bowl halftime show, you saw Rihanna’s incredible performance while lifted on clear glass panels high above the crowd. Surprisingly, the producer revealed that Rihanna is afraid of heights. So, they raised her a little higher every day during rehearsals to make the actual performance easier. It obviously worked.
That is the right idea for us. Don’t just set big goals; look at the small decisions and steps for progress. Think bit by bit. Decide what you can do tomorrow and the next day to move forward one step at a time. Build on each step.
3. Scrap the ‘all or nothing’ mindset. High achievers or perfectionists commonly believe, ‘If I can’t do this well – I don’t want to do it.’ This underlying belief keeps you stuck because any notable change happens gradually and not overnight. This mindset is why we give up on New Year’s resolutions by February 1 or never pursue our dream job. The changes we’d have to make in our life – feel like too much, and we don’t want to fail, so we stop. We protect ourselves by not pursuing a change – even if deep down we want it.
4. Recognize progress, not perfection. The goal is to reward and recognize the commitment to progress in changing any habit. Rather than think, ‘I didn’t work out every day after work as I planned,’ set doable goals to move you forward. Acknowledge that you went to the gym two days this week, which is two more than you went last week! Changing a habit takes time and measured progress. Research says a habit change typically takes at least two months or more. Focus on the system and daily movement – not yet reaching the ultimate goal. Habit changes take time.
If you want to lead or make a change, look carefully at your habits. Our favorites, which give us the most comfort, can block the path. But taking on the habit incrementally, day by day, will get you there. Faster isn’t better.